Only the Lonely...

The environment that we surround ourselves in, if you live in the City or Suburbs, is all at once a dazzling, fast paced, unforgiving, and enchanting experience that requires either strength or the appearance of strength in small minded convictions. In each case the amount of energy we use to function leaves little else in our internal reservoirs for the subtle pleasures of self-exploration. The moments we do have free are used in pursuit of a leisure that itself is nothing more than distraction. Whether that distraction takes us to a moving picture or a group of friends with drinks makes little difference. The end result is to distract ourselves from ourselves. In movies, games, television and other similar forms of entertainment we are passively taken along. Even in such films that we deem "thought provoking" we are still little more than a vessel for the ideas and notions of a writer, director, and actor. During the film and after we are engaging in material that is secondary from ourselves. In the case of friends we find ourselves actively distracted. Whatever forms of conversation we employ, and there are degrees of depth to each conversation we maintain, we are merely using the forum of words to express and escape the issues that plague us. Perhaps we partake in gossip, using others follies & foibles to detract from our own. Perhaps we indulge in self-evaluation, expressing our inner selves to others as best we can. While it seems obvious that the first act is mere distracting filler, the second action seems noble, poetic, romantic, even self-aware. However the danger is in actually believing that when we give voice to our "inner selves" that we actually are. To truly honestly express oneself, without fancy words or impressive turns of phrases, is a difficult and laborious task. It requires an unflinchingly honest knowledge of our motives, desires, prejudices, and idiosyncrasies that can only be gained when we are given the time to sit silently with ourselves and examine closely our actions, words, ideas, and decisions with a mind willing to accept that : 1. "I" is not important, 2. It is more often "wrong" than "right", 3. It is more subtle, beautiful, and powerful than we believe it is.

To say that "I" is not important is extremely difficult. It requires the detached observation of our ego, taking us to a place in which we can recognize that all the unique characteristics that embody who we present to the world is not that important. Our ego fights this notion. It wants to be the center of our personal world view. It is devious and manipulative in pursuit of this goal, preying on our insecurities, exaggerating our personal accomplishments, and selling us illusions of grandiose. Falling into any of these feelings is very easy and very dangerous. To do so distorts the needs, the voices, the joy, and the pain of others. It allows us to hide behind a stunted perspective that fails to empathize with the world we inhabit. This is not to say we can banish or subjugate our ego in any way. We should not. Even if we could do this it would be dangerous. Our egos, which helps us seek a unique perspective or embody an original persona, help create the diverse beautiful world in which we operate. What is needed is to be aware of our ego, of the tricks it plays upon us, so that we can be open and free to experience the full scope those beautiful diverse people we love, hate, and are indifferent towards. We must live this "I", be aware of it, give it voice, but make sure that the voice it is given does not drown out the voices of "us"

It is a perplexing notion for our minds to admit that it is more often wrong than right. We are raised to be confident (As a society: i.e., America is great, buying is good, you should drink coffee...) to believe in the fine lines of right and wrong, to trust that we are "right" -- as individuals and as a collective social unit. Only in every instance we trust faulty perceptions, notions not our own, media constructions of beauty, strength, passion, and so on. This is important to recognize because we trust so blindly the structures of religion, nationalism, capitalism, and all other sorts of -isms and thought groups. Rarely do we, and even rarer are we needed to, stand alone. But as we come to stand alone, to consider the long progression of human thought, we can begin to see that often we are "wrong": as individuals and as a collective. As we begin to recognize, and then truly understand, that we as humans don't know nearly as much as we thought we can then even begin to let go of these notions of "right" and "wrong". Perhaps the only reason it is important to recognize that we are "wrong" is that the notion of being "right" is so ingrained into our cultural lifestyle that we must, to help us come back to balance, go in the opposite extreme. Doing so allows us, as an individual and with hope as a society, to no longer blindly accept the parameters of the world we can see, but allow for a greater more subtle more wild world than we know. By accepting that we are "wrong" we combat the doctrine of "right", and allow for the world to simply exist and we observe it as best we can without boundaries limiting what we can intake.

That our minds are more subtle and beautiful than we give them credit for is true when we allow ourselves to experience empathy. We have such a long cellular history, such a long collective memory that in narrowing ourselves to function in the world of modern marvels we leave behind the expansive richness that our mind is capable of calling forth. It is in empathy that we can begin to understand this. Empathy is our ability to truly understand, feel, and experience the world that another man or woman is living. By allowing our minds to open up and accept the troubles and joys of another we can see the shared desires and needs of our world. We can begin to understand the connection that we have with the entire living, breathing place we currently inhabit. As we do this we can feel our mind grow stronger, larger, and more powerful than if we were to close it off to the tribulations and successes of others. With empathy in our (metaphorical) hearts we can allow our minds to continue to grow and learn and discover in a way that would unavailable to us if we were only involved in our own successes and tribulations.

Nothing that is written here is a blueprint. Each one of us must be able to come into redefining our world in our own way. The three ideas or tasks are merely one way that this author has found to be successful in helping him expand his sense of empathy and continue to discover the pleasures of being alive. They may not work for you, they are suggestions. Nor could a methodology for how to accomplish those three things ever be created. We must seek and discover our own path, hoping always that it leads us to become better servants of this world we borrow time on, better communicators, better at understanding the beautiful people we share this wild teeming earth with. What is important though is that we never be discouraged by failing but encouraged by the attempt. That we continue to ask for, and give ourselves, forgiveness. That we love ourselves and others with a warm heart that is full of generosity. That we continue to share, discover, and laugh.